Recognizing Stalking Behaviors For Awareness And Prevention

Stalking is a form of harassing and/or threatening behavior in which one person shows another unwanted and usually excessive attention, making the targeted individual feel afraid for their safety. Stalking was legally made a crime in the United States in the early 1990s, but this behavior still occurs. In fact, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) considers stalking to be a public health issue, and health experts actively promote stalking awareness and prevention as a form of safety planning. 

Intimate partner violence and sexual violence are often linked to stalking, which is another reason why stalking awareness and prevention are important. Even when stalking does not progress into violence, it can negatively affect the mental health and well-being of stalking survivors. Read on to learn more about how to identify this behavior and what you can do if it’s affecting you.

Identifying stalking behaviors

According to the CDC, about one-third of women and one-sixth of men are stalked at some point in their lives. Most targets of stalking are adults, but 24% of women and 19% of men who are stalked report first experiencing stalking before they reached adulthood. About half of people who are stalked experience it prior to age 25.

A person is generally considered to be stalking someone when they engage in any or all of these behaviors:

• Watching or following their target individual
• Showing up to the person’s work, school, or home uninvited
• Leaving items for the person to find that let them know the stalker was there
• Sneaking into the person’s car or home 
• Sending gifts, letters, flowers, or other unwanted items to the person
• Spying on the person using a camera, computer software, or other technology
• Using GPS technology to monitor the person’s location
• Repeatedly contacting the person through phone calls, texts, emails, or social media

These behaviors are typically upsetting to stalking targets because they are unwanted and often unpredictable. Their potential to escalate in severity and lead to violence can make the individual fear for the safety of themselves and their loved ones. 

Because stalking often stems from intimate relationships, the early stages of stalking can be difficult for a target to notice. It often comes down to how these behaviors make them feel. If a person is uncomfortable with these aspects of another person's attention or behavior and the behavior continues after that discomfort has been communicated, then stalking is likely occurring. For example, if a person asks their romantic partner not to drop by their home or work unannounced and the partner continues to do so, that might be an early sign of stalking.

While stalking doesn't necessarily involve direct threats, it leads to threats in many cases. About 69% of women who have been stalked and 80% of men who have been stalked have also experienced threats of violence from their stalker. Direct threats often begin later, after a stalking target has ended the relationship or while they are attempting to end the relationship. Threats are often the stalker's attempt to coerce the individual into maintaining the connection.

What are the potential effects of stalking?

Being stalked can have a variety of negative effects on the person being targeted. The nature of the relationship between them and the stalker, the length of time for which the stalking occurred, and what the stalking entailed can all impact how an individual might be affected by this behavior.

Research suggests that nearly 92% of people who are stalked experience psychological impacts. These effects can include things like fear of physical harm or violence, anxiety, panic attacks, flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, and attempted suicide. The same study also reports that 75% of stalking survivors felt powerless and about 56% felt helpless as a result of being stalked.

If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or urges, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or text 988 to talk to someone over SMS. Support is available 24/7.

After being stalked, a person may mistrust others and feel suspicious toward people they don't know well. They may withdraw socially and feel afraid to begin new relationships. Those targeted by stalking behaviors may also struggle to concentrate, become restless, and feel a loss of control. Sometimes, they may turn to substance use in an attempt to cope with these negative effects. A person who has been stalked may also feel unable to do their job due to their symptoms, or like they need to change jobs or move somewhere else where their stalker is less likely to find them.

Stalking and violence

In about one-third of cases, a stalker will engage in physical violence. Most of the time, this violence involves hitting or grabbing a person in an attempt to coerce or intimidate them. Though rare, these instances can result in severe injury or death. Although most stalking cases do not end in death, a high proportion of women who were killed by intimate partners were first stalked by them.

Sometimes, the violence occurs prior to the stalking. People who engage in domestic violence or sexual violence sometimes stalk their targets later, after the targeted individual tries to end the relationship.

Stalking prevention and staying safe

People don't always immediately recognize stalking behaviors, especially if they’re coming from a romantic partner who is making repeated, unwanted contact, sending lots of unwanted gifts, showing up unexpectedly, or closely following their partner's online activity. Stalking is also often written off when done by teenagers or young adults, as if it’s just a phase of "puppy love" or part of development—which is not the case. Stalking should be taken seriously, regardless of the age or gender of the stalker or their relationship to the target.

Current advice for a person who feels uncomfortable with another person's attention or behavior is to tell them in clear terms that they want the attention or behavior to stop. If they do not stop after boundaries have been set, then stalking is occurring. From there, the target of these behaviors should typically immediately begin avoiding contact with their stalker and documenting any incidents in which their stalker contacts, follows, or approaches them. Openly discussing the situation with trusted people in their life may also help the target of stalking behaviors build a support network and feel safer.

What to do if you’re being stalked

According to the US Department of Justice's Office on Violence Against Women (OVW), when a person is being stalked, they should report it to the police. People don't always call the authorities because they feel unsure about whether or not what they’re experiencing is stalking. They may also fear that if they report it, their stalker will become angry and more aggressive as a result. Nevertheless, official guidance is to contact law enforcement right away.

The Stalking Prevention, Awareness, & Resource Center (SPARC) is a government-funded center that provides resources related to stalking. There are also national helplines available for people trying to navigate situations where they’re the target of a crime like stalking, such as VictimConnect, which can be reached at 1-855-484-2846. 

Remote therapy to cope with stress or trauma

Even after stalking has ended, a stalking target may find themselves grappling with negative mental health effects like stress, anxiety, fear, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Talk therapy is generally recommended for those who are experiencing distress or symptoms of a mental health disorder. A therapist can help guide an individual in processing and addressing these feelings and symptoms to improve their mental well-being and work toward healing.

In general, individuals can choose between in-person or online therapy if they’re looking to receive this type of care. One potential benefit of remote therapy for stalking survivors in particular is that they can attend from the comfort and safety of their own home instead of having to travel to and from regular appointments. BetterHelp is a remote therapy platform that matches individuals with a licensed therapist who they can speak with via phone, video call, or in-app messaging.

Researchers haven't directly studied remote therapy for stalking survivors. However, these individuals often experience post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), for which the effectiveness of online treatment has been studied. For instance, one research review suggests that remote therapy for PTSD can be as effective as in-person therapy. The study’s authors also note that remote treatment options like online therapy make treatment available to a wider number of people who may be living with PTSD.